The Conflict Within Me

What am I?
Am I a girl, or a woman?
A lover or a player?
A true teller or a liar?
Something or nothing?
Real or fake?
An achiever or a wanna be?
But most of all, I have to wonder:
WHO AM I?
A thinker or a romantic?
Am I a person with a free will, or a manufactured product of society?
If I’m a person with a free will, then why am I bound?
And if I am a product, should I be the one to condemn, or the people who manufactured me?
But either way I am not any of the things above.
For I am a wanderer between two worlds,
Two extremes,
Black and white.
But what’s tearing me up inside is that I don’t know which is black or which is white.
By heart is torn, and my brain is over thought.
I keep asking my self:
Are you happy?
Are you content?
Are you proud?
There is only one answer that seems to haunt me: NO I AM NOT!!!!
As I said, I am a wanderer, I am lost.
I know what I was, I know what I wanna be.
But I can’t be either.
For I am stuck.
Confused.
Angry.
Frustrated.
And incomplete.
I should break through and redeem my self from all the ties.
I must release my emotions, let the inner me rule.
Find the missing pieces to complete me.
But the more I try, the more I fail.
I just can’t.
Something is holding me back.
What is it I don’t know?
But I am tired of trying, and I am drained.
Who am I trying to please?
And what am I trying to prove?
What ever is it that I do, is just not right.
Quench is the word.
And quench is the answer.
Quench my desires!!
Quench my yearning to be alive!!
Quench the lusts that I have!!!
But I’m falling apart.
For I am frail.
I need a helping hand, as I am getting weaker.
I need the will to struggle.
I need to be contained.
For I am in pain!
Agony!
Torture!
And misery!
And all I a can do is just scream.
That’s all I’m capable of.
Scream!!!
But the more I scream, the less my scream is heard.
As I bay and cry to the moon,
I could only wonder,
What am I?
Am I girl or a woman?
Who am I?
A person with a free will, or a product?
But what I know for sure,
Is that I am a believer.
But a believer of what?
I have no clue!!!