Since we were little children, we keep on dreaming of that glorious day where we will grow up and become successful in life. We project that through many different thoughts and dreams that are unrealistic. Like that day where we will be able to beat up that big kid that bullied around us the whole year, or becoming a famous movie or rock star who will look down and gloat at the people who humiliated us when we were kids. Regardless of what we dreamed of becoming, or how we defined the word success back then; there is only one thing we all tended to have in common; the consent of our parents and making them proud of us. Some of people’s main goal in life is just to follow the foot steps of their parents no matter what they do.
Childhood actual success doesn’t usually exceed the limit of getting a sticker on the forehead, or getting a gold star in our copybooks. To the average person; those achievements are extremely trivial and meaningless. However, that’s not how a child’s mind operates. The first thing that we do when we have that sticker or that golden star is that we try to keep it on for as long as we can, so we can rush to our parents after school hours to just to show them what we’ve achieved.
Striving for our parents’ acknowledgment doesn’t only make us run to them when we get rewarded or successful, but also makes us hide from them when we fail in any kind of way. If we get a black mark on our charts or get a detention; our initial instinct tells us to just hide it and lie. Meanwhile we keep biting our nails off and sweating like a pig anticipating what might happen on the annual parent-teacher conference. We exert all our efforts at the conference to waste time till the meeting is over before our parents can get to reach that teacher that might complain from us. We keep on wondering; will they know? Will they not know? Who could possibly tell them? And what will be their reaction when they find out? It is like disaster waiting to happen! True that part of the reason why we tend to hide such ugly truth is to avoid punishment. However, in the back of our heads; we still don’t want to cause any sort of disappointment to those who raised and provided us since we were born.
This strive of acceptance doesn’t just live with us when we are little children; it still finds a way to grow with us even after we graduate form college. When I look back at the old times when I was in school, I can still see my self standing in my parents’ bedroom early in the morning, trying so hard to be able to tell them that I’m too tired to go to school today, and that I’d rather take a rest and stay in for the day. I was so worried about how they might react, and more or less ashamed of my self; not because I was going to miss things at school, or that I’ll disappoint any of my teachers, but because I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. And here I am, 10 years later as a working, independent woman, and you can still see me in my parents’ room early in the morning looking for their approval or consent for staying in for the day and calling in sick. I can, until this very day see that school girl in that outfit worried and looking rather ashamed!!!
It’s great to follow our parents’ footsteps in life just to make them proud of what we’ve become. It’s so fulfilling and easy to have a dream of becoming exactly as our parents, because only then we wouldn’t have to worry about disappointing them. But what should a person do when his/her ultimate goal in life is very different with that of their parents’; maybe even sometimes contradictive with their set of values and ideologies?? How could we make that balance between what we are expected to be, and what we actually want to be?? How could we solve the equation of making our parents proud, yet having some sense of self-fulfillment?? How could we just keep that sparkle in their eyes even when they hear about something that they might dislike while we are very passionate about?
Such questions keep on hunting people my age all the time. We strive to become what we dream of, but we also don’t want to disappoint our parents. We keep on stumbling all over the place trying to solve that riddle, but nothing works. This all leads up to what is now called “Quarter Life Crisis” or “QLC”. QLC is defined as a phase in the life of newly graduates who suffer from anxiety and uncertainty in their lives; which leads them to take random, and undeceive decisions.
I know that our parent’s ultimate goals in life are to see us happy, well off, and successful. But what if our definition of success differs from theirs? Wouldn’t our happiness be more important to them than us following the path of success that they paved for us? Didn’t they tell us since we were children to follow our passions in life, and stand up for what we believe in no matter what? Then how come they expect us to cave easily for their wishes to follow their dreams? I am still striving to make my parents proud of me; on the other hand, I still want to follow my passions that they disapprove of. I know I sound like a stubborn little girl, but history has proved that all the great minds suffered from and fought what is considered “Socially Acceptable” in order to become the great names that they are today.
As I said earlier, I still want to make my parents proud, while being happy doing what I love. This seems like an impossible combination; however I am looking for the answers. How will I solve the problem? That I haven’t yet figured out!!!!!
Childhood actual success doesn’t usually exceed the limit of getting a sticker on the forehead, or getting a gold star in our copybooks. To the average person; those achievements are extremely trivial and meaningless. However, that’s not how a child’s mind operates. The first thing that we do when we have that sticker or that golden star is that we try to keep it on for as long as we can, so we can rush to our parents after school hours to just to show them what we’ve achieved.
Striving for our parents’ acknowledgment doesn’t only make us run to them when we get rewarded or successful, but also makes us hide from them when we fail in any kind of way. If we get a black mark on our charts or get a detention; our initial instinct tells us to just hide it and lie. Meanwhile we keep biting our nails off and sweating like a pig anticipating what might happen on the annual parent-teacher conference. We exert all our efforts at the conference to waste time till the meeting is over before our parents can get to reach that teacher that might complain from us. We keep on wondering; will they know? Will they not know? Who could possibly tell them? And what will be their reaction when they find out? It is like disaster waiting to happen! True that part of the reason why we tend to hide such ugly truth is to avoid punishment. However, in the back of our heads; we still don’t want to cause any sort of disappointment to those who raised and provided us since we were born.
This strive of acceptance doesn’t just live with us when we are little children; it still finds a way to grow with us even after we graduate form college. When I look back at the old times when I was in school, I can still see my self standing in my parents’ bedroom early in the morning, trying so hard to be able to tell them that I’m too tired to go to school today, and that I’d rather take a rest and stay in for the day. I was so worried about how they might react, and more or less ashamed of my self; not because I was going to miss things at school, or that I’ll disappoint any of my teachers, but because I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. And here I am, 10 years later as a working, independent woman, and you can still see me in my parents’ room early in the morning looking for their approval or consent for staying in for the day and calling in sick. I can, until this very day see that school girl in that outfit worried and looking rather ashamed!!!
It’s great to follow our parents’ footsteps in life just to make them proud of what we’ve become. It’s so fulfilling and easy to have a dream of becoming exactly as our parents, because only then we wouldn’t have to worry about disappointing them. But what should a person do when his/her ultimate goal in life is very different with that of their parents’; maybe even sometimes contradictive with their set of values and ideologies?? How could we make that balance between what we are expected to be, and what we actually want to be?? How could we solve the equation of making our parents proud, yet having some sense of self-fulfillment?? How could we just keep that sparkle in their eyes even when they hear about something that they might dislike while we are very passionate about?
Such questions keep on hunting people my age all the time. We strive to become what we dream of, but we also don’t want to disappoint our parents. We keep on stumbling all over the place trying to solve that riddle, but nothing works. This all leads up to what is now called “Quarter Life Crisis” or “QLC”. QLC is defined as a phase in the life of newly graduates who suffer from anxiety and uncertainty in their lives; which leads them to take random, and undeceive decisions.
I know that our parent’s ultimate goals in life are to see us happy, well off, and successful. But what if our definition of success differs from theirs? Wouldn’t our happiness be more important to them than us following the path of success that they paved for us? Didn’t they tell us since we were children to follow our passions in life, and stand up for what we believe in no matter what? Then how come they expect us to cave easily for their wishes to follow their dreams? I am still striving to make my parents proud of me; on the other hand, I still want to follow my passions that they disapprove of. I know I sound like a stubborn little girl, but history has proved that all the great minds suffered from and fought what is considered “Socially Acceptable” in order to become the great names that they are today.
As I said earlier, I still want to make my parents proud, while being happy doing what I love. This seems like an impossible combination; however I am looking for the answers. How will I solve the problem? That I haven’t yet figured out!!!!!
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